CHIMAMANDA BY UCHE OSITA JAMES

"The beginning is the end , for the end marks the beginning and the
beginning the end".

- Uche Osita James

In our lives we often wait but it is not because we are
patient. It is because we are uncertain. Our lives are seldom perfect
like the balance symbols of ying and yang that the chineses muse
about. We are plagued with uncertainty like bomb victims under
religious terrorist attacks. We long for things, a deeper sentience
pervading our lives that we may grasp our realities more firmly.

My sister had a philosophy, "Life na jeje". It was what saved her
all her life and she sought to teach me same.

When I sat for JAMB for the fourth time in 2005 and didn't make
it, she pat my shoulders and said "Life na jeje"

In the days of her youth, not long after she had finished
service and compiled a very impressive CV. Four months after waiting
on line for an interview for a job she really wanted. When she
returned home and told me "Life na jeje" I understood what had
happened.

She was too hopeful, too undaunted and resolved in her efforts.
She never seemed down even when the worst of things happened. She was
my pillar.

Mama was overjoyed when Adaugo said she had found a man. She
mused that the ancestral demons that plagued her might fear the man's
potence. She however did not muse silently, for I heard her tell
Adaugo time without number that She had to fight back through the
mediums the demons operated , Adaugo however paid her no heed.

" Life na jeje" was her world view, her philosophy, her asserted
belief and consolation. It was her ultimate shield against fate's
vendetta and she wielded it daily.

Two days to the day he was to come when she came home and told
Mama in that silent eerie way of hers that "Life na jeje", we knew the
man would never come.

When Mama died was when her principle climaxed to a dogged
conclusion, there was no turning back now. To her they would only be
the doing, failing and the re-doing of things already attempted
earlier.

When she noticed that I was so stricken with grief my life stood
still, she reminded me "Life na Jeje" but I wouldn't listen . It was
all so vivid. Time and again she would come and remind me, console me
and strengthen me until I stood on my feet and began slowly to tread
the path of no turning back.

She was my comforter. Through thick and thin and when things
seemed to have gone so bad it appeared there was no way out she
reminded me "Life na jeje" and it was in the light of this new
principle that I basked like a Grey fowl on Christmas noon.

Papa told me years ago that humans need something to believe in,
something to motivate them to keep going when all the odds seem in
their disfavor. Alas she has found hers, I was merely caught up in it.

With the swishing breeze that announces evening in Surulere
where fate had decided that I was to dwell, time passed slowly yet
steadily until I was so enmeshed with constant reminders from her that
I came to believe as well "Life na Jeje" though not with as much
passion as her.

Adaugo was married now. She was happy as far as I could tell. The
creator had blessed her with two daughters, and her husband was a bit
of a saint. He was tall, fair skinned with this smile that spoke of
innocence. His eyes were a bit alluring, at least to the female folks.

Some years later I would have a son of my own. A little rascal
that would cause so much trouble he would become accustomed to the
"Mr Do Good" I kept for his Mischievous purposes. Later He would tell
me of a girl he had dated for three years , who had said no to a
marriage proposal and I would tell him "Life na Jeje".